Payback's a Rugrat
by Nienna Nir
Summary: Never let it be said that Tony Stark doesn't pay his debts, generously, exorbitantly even. Though mostly he'd just be happier not ever being in anyone's debt at all. Part of the Series: Coulson Lives, but the Avengers might be the death of him.


"My sister said to thank you for the new Dora watch," The blond head in front of Tony bobbed as the boy fairly bounced out of the elevator, spinning on his heal and walking backward, looking up at him with an excited expression. "She says it's like ten times cooler than the old one you broke."

"It should be," Stark declared drily. "I got it custom from Rolex. Only one like it in the world."

"Sweet!" Harley grinned. "And mom said not to completely shame her by forgetting to thank you for the tools and computers and stuff."

"It's ok, you had it coming, you loaned me your lab," Tony shrugged easily, a smirk curling the corners of his lips. "Never let it be said that Tony Stark doesn't pay back on a favor."

"Oh, and the college fund thing," Harley added as an after thought, tilting his head to the side. "Where is MIT, anyway?"

"Boston," Tony replied, trying not to laugh. "I expect to be paid back for that in nice shiny patents when you graduate, kid. R&D needs engineers like you from the crap they've been churning out lately."

"Seriously?" Harley's eyes glowed as if Christmas had come early. "You're going to let me work for you some day?"

"That is _not_ a reward, kid," Tony grasped his shoulder, turning him around and steering him into the kitchen, hiding his smile.

"Can I see the lab?" Harley pleaded, he paused a moment, turning again. "Can I see _your_ lab... and the Hulk! I want to see his lab too."

"Tomorrow," Tony sighed herding him through the doorway. "You've been in town like, twenty minutes. You haven't even stopped staring up at the high rises yet."

"Holy Sh...!" Harley's voice trailed off in a squeak and he fairly skipped across the kitchen, climbing up on the window sill and pressing his face to the glass, his eyes wide as he stared out at the city.

"See what I mean?" Tony rolled his eyes, attempting to hide his smile. He was only half aware of the light brush of a shoulder against his own as one of the team slipped past him. If it bothered him, as it once had, to have others in his personal space, he didn't show it. His attention stayed on Harley his expression by turns exasperated and amused.

"This is so incredibly cool," Harley declared gleefully. "The kids at school are never going to believe this."

"Pics or it didn't happen," Tony sighed, holding out a phone to him. Harley turned to look at it, sucking in a quick breath as his eyes went wide.

"Is that the new STARKphone?" he asked in awe.

"You don't think I'm going to carry around the old one!" Tony gave him an affronted look, shaking the phone idly. "Do you want it or not?"

"I..." Harley gaped up at him. "I can keep it?" he reached out with trembling hands and Tony jerked the phone back an inch.

"You break it, and you can forget about a new one," He cautioned. Harley nodded breathlessly and Tony half shoved the phone into the boy's chest. Harley's face lit up as he began jamming icons, bring up the camera.

"This is so cool," he declared, snapping photos of the skyline.

"Do not take pictures of anything that's going to freak out your mother!" Tony commanded, backing off to watch as Harley migrated along the windows and out toward the view from the rec room.

"You keep getting me phones when I break them," Steve pointed out. Tony turned to blink at him, half surprised as if he'd forgotten someone else was there.

"You're a challenge," Stark huffed, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his cream colored suit. "I'm dragging you into the 21st century kicking and screaming the whole way, even if it's the last thing I do. He grinned as Harley spread out on the carpet of the rec room, snapping photos of the vaulted ceiling and the staircase.

"He..." Steve hesitated a moment biting his lip as Harley zeroed in on the Lego Technic set Steve and Clint toyed with on occasion, abandoning his new phone.

"Don't blow up my tower!" Tony demanded with a scowl. "I just got the Loki hole in my living room tile fixed!" He turned to rifle though the fridge.

"I thought we weren't talking about that," Harley called back his expression slightly bewildered as he mashed legos together.

"We aren't," Tony snapped, dumping lunch meat out on the counter. Steve blinked at him a moment before settling onto one of the bar stools and assembling himself a sandwich.

"You need to see a therapist," Harley declared, giving Tony a look as Stark spread slices of bread out on the counter.

"I'm seeing one, it's not working," Tony answered. Steve nearly choked on his soda struggling to hold back his laughter.

"Since when?" he asked in amusement. Tony shot him a cutting look. Steve turned his attention back to Harley as Tony began assembling sandwiches.

"He seems like a great kid," Steve observed, a soft smile on his lips as he took a bite of his ham and cheese. Tony looked up at him before glancing at Harley who appeared to be in the test phase of a lego spider-bot.

"Remember it's screwing around unless you're documenting it!" Tony called. Harley nodded, setting up his phone on the coffee table to record his progress. Tony lowered his voice. "He's a fantastic kid." There was a long pause.

Tony," Steve asked hesitantly. "Is he yours?"

"What?" Tony turned eyes like saucers on him.

"Is he..."

"No!" Tony hissed quickly, horror plain on his face. "God no! Why would you think that?"

"Well... he acts like you," Steve murmured hesitantly, his face flushing slightly. "And... you have a reputation."

"Shit!" Tony spewed out before he could stop himself. Steve gave him a glare. "Of course not! Do you think I'd... No. No, absolutely not. That is the most terrifying thing I've ever heard."

"Having a child is terrifying?" Steve gave him a scolding look.

"Me having a child is terrifying," Stark insisted. "I'm an irresponsible asshole, and don't deny it."

"Tony," Steve's expression changed to one of gentle scolding.

"He's not mine," Tony insisted. Steve looked at him expectantly. "He's... he helped me out. That thing last Christmas with the Mandarin." Steve glanced away uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to back you up," Steve sighed. "If I could have made it back from my... USO tour in Afghanistan." His voice trailed off and Tony rolled his eyes.

"Look, I know you weren't really at Bagram making Christmas Barbecue for the troops," Tony shook his head. "Everyone with level 6 clearance and above knows that Hydra has been feeding the Taliban advanced weapons. I managed on my own."

"Still," Steve met his eye and Tony was freshly bewildered at how one man could stand to change his expression so often.

"Anyway," Tony shrugged it off. "I crash-landed the suit in Backwater, Tennessee. JARVIS was off line, no phone, no tools, press reporting me dead. So I dragged the suit half way into town and hid it in some random guy's garage."

"Wait," Steve looked at him horrified. "You said some kid helped you out, I thought you meant... someone old enough to drive!"

"Well he had all the good stuff!" Tony stated defensively. "I thought he was some gear-head teenager, how was I supposed to know? The projects were way too advance for an eight year old!"

"I'm ten!" Harley declared from the rec room, his spider bot stumbling unsteadily across the table. "And I'm not deaf!" Steve bit his lip to keep from laughing as Tony scowled.

"His sister's at camp so I offered to fly him and his mother out here for a few days," Tony shrugged. "She said she couldn't take off work. So Harley'll be here for a week on his own."

"Are you sure..." Steve's voice trailed off uneasily.

"That I won't scar him for life?" Tony rolled his eyes. "No." Steve blushed.

"You're Captain America," Steve swiveled on his chair to look into Harley's upturned face. The boy's eyes were wide with thinly veiled hero worship. "Oh my god, you're Captain America."

"You can call me Steve," Rogers insisted blushing deeper.

"Mom has a major, major crush on you," Harley declared gleefully. "Can I take a picture with you? Are you dating anybody?"

"We don't let Cap date," Tony declared quickly as Steve's face fairly drained of color. "He's a socially awkward basket case."

"Tony!" Steve snapped defensively, glaring at him as Harley clambered onto the bar stool beside him, leaning into Steve's shoulder with his camera held out.

"Smile!" Harley declared, years of USO training kicked in and Steve automatically smiled for the camera before he could stop himself. Tony bit his lip to keep from laughing.

"This is so cool!" Harley gazed at the phone in delight, taking a bite of the sandwich Tony had slid in front of him without even looking up.

"Email that one to your mom," Tony suggested, taking a bite of his own sandwich. Steve's cheeks turned pink as Harley giggled evilly, wolfing down his sandwich as he typed on his phone one handed.

"You sure he's not," Steve's voice trailed off as he jerked his head in Harley's direction. Tony glared at him.

"My dad left when I was little," Harley stated. "But Tony says dads leave and you can't be a pussy about it."

"Tony!" Steve looked at him scandalized. Tony only rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Can I meet the other Avengers?" Harley pleaded. "Are they here? Are they on a secret mission? Can Black Widow really kill someone twelve ways with a paperclip?"

"I thought it was nineteen," Tony blurted out before he could stop himself. Steve rubbed his face with his hand in exasperation.

"You know, Thor was in the gym when I left," Steve observed. "He's probably still down there."

"Awesome!" Harley turned pleading eyes on Tony.

"I'll take you down," Steve laughed, finish your sandwich. Harley gulped down the last two bites, sliding off his barstool and running for the door.

"I'll be there as soon as I clean up," Tony sighed, rolling his eyes as he wrapped up the lunch meat. Steve only shook his head, holding back a laugh. Harley skidded up short as a figure in a suit stepped through the door.

"You have Men in Black here too?" He turned euphoric eyes on Tony. "I am never leaving here."

"Harley, this is Agent Coulson," Steve's hand settled on the boy's shoulder. "He's like our manager, he coordinates our communication and keeps the medical teams ready for us."

"Nice to meet you, Harley," Coulson held out his hand with a smile. "You can call me Phil."

"So you're like an undercover Avenger?" Harley asked, shaking his hand. Phil balked in surprise.

"Exactly," Tony stated as Steve nodded in agreement. Harley beamed and Steve steered him out the door.

"Let's go find Thor," Steve reminded. Harley let out a whoop, running for the elevator. Coulson watched them go, his cheeks slightly colored.

"Stark I didn't know you had a son," he declared finally, turning back to the kitchen in bewilderment, clearly unable to process how something like that would be missing from SHIELD's files.

"Damn it," Tony huffed, running his fingers though his hair. "Why does everyone assume he's mine?"

"He acts just like you," Phil pointed out as if it were obvious. Tony mumbled a string of profanity as he scooped up the lunch meat and dumped it in a drawer in the fridge.

"Not mine," Tony snapped, striding out into the rec room. He needed to change into something covered in engine grease before Harley goaded him into ruining another suit. He stopped on his way toward the stairs, looking down at the robotic spider on the coffee table. He reached over and pressed the remote and the spider quickly scurried to the edge of the table before toppling to the floor. It rolled a few feet until it came to a stop, righting itself and continued to scuttle toward the kitchen. Tony pressed the off button, making an inscrutable sound in the back of his throat.

"JARVIS, order a couple of those to send home with him, will you?" Tony stated finally, continuing on toward the stairs.

"Shall I contact his mother to see which sets he already has?" JARVIS suggested.

"No, just buy whichever two cost the most, he won't have those," Tony shook his head. "And JARVIS... Tell Bruce we're going to need him in my lab tomorrow to help with a project."

"Shall I brief him on any details, sir?" JARVIS asked as Tony climbed the stairs.

"Don't have any," Tony stated cheerfully. "I'm leaving that up to the kid."


End file.
